England have a ready-made excuse if/when they are dumped out of the group stages at Brazil 2014: it was too bloody hot.
In fairness, the temperatures in Manaus, where England kick-off their World Cup campaign against Italy on Saturday 14 June, are expected to be in the 30s. And then there’s the humidity, which could push close the 100 per cent mark.
But we all know how footballers like a good moan. How hard is it really to run around in these soaring temperatures? Well, you can now find out for yourself, courtesy of the recently opened Lucozade Sport Conditions Zone in Canary Wharf.
This state-of-the-art venue recreates the exact temperatures Steven Gerrard and co will be contending with in Brazil. Eager to experience it for myself, I rounded up a few friends and headed inside for 30 minutes of football in a furnace.
On arrival, we were greeted with wristbands, a bucket load of Lucozade and a concerning number of frowns. We were then individually weighed, set up with heart rate monitors and given a quick medical check.
We then cautiously edged our way towards the temperature-controlled area. The climate in the concealed zone replicated the heat in Manaus, a staggering 32°C with 75 per cent humidity. As a sweat-drenched group of players stumbled off the pitch, it was our turn to feel the heat.
At first, the conditions seemed bearable – a combination of walking, jogging and sprinting gave the body enough time to recover. However, as the game stretched, so did our physical thresholds.
At half-time, which was only after 15 minutes (more than enough time, by the way), the sports scientists again took our temperatures. The second half then began, and the misery continued.
The stuffy, muggy conditions made running harder and significantly reduced the effort put in by us all. So, even though footballers enjoy a pampered lifestyle, earn a whopping paycheque and get away with child-like moaning, I began to sympathise for our sun-deprived Englishmen.
As the game neared the end, so did we. Our bodies had almost caved under the demanding conditions and the unforgiving half hour seemed like it would never end.
Throughout, I felt as though my body could actually cope with the warm temperature. I ran the furthest distance, didn’t feel like that the heat clouded my mind and (because it was only 30 minutes of exercise) didn’t suffer from any aches or pains.
But as I exited the large melting pot, I was given another temperature check – and was immediately told to cool off outside. My temperate was two degrees higher than when I started. Blimey.
So while Roy Hodgson’s men may complain about the texture of their bath towel, the taste of their hotel room mint and the timing of their breakfast, when it comes to the heat they have a real cause for concern.
Now, I know you might be thinking that there are plenty of events and races out there that make the conditions at the World Cup seem a walk in the park. And you’re right.
Take the Marathon des Sables, a multi-stage race through the Sahara Desert, where temperatures are regularly in the high 40s. Or Badwater, a 135-mile ultramarathon through Death Valley, where runners have to keep to the white lines in the middle of the road for fear of melting their trainers.
So playing in the midday heat of Manaus may not be the hardest challenge on earth. But let’s cut the team a break for once once, shall we? As I found out for myself, running in those kind of temperatures is hard, hard work. Wayne Rooney, I wish you the best of luck.
